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It was hop scotch for me and notclimbing trees. When I grew up gender dysphoria didn’t exist. Well it did, but no onecalled it that back then. What I got called was fairy and pansy andsissy and bullied mercilessly. I didn't have the ability or the will tofight back and so I withdrew into my own world. I was unhappy but Ididn’t understand why.That’s when I discovered dressing. I was looking for some solace and Ithought, as I liked doing girl things, why not try to look like one. Istole a pair of my mum’s knickers from the laundry hamper one night andput them on in my bedroom. The feeling as they slid up my legs sent medizzy and when I pulled them up tight I nearly fainted.That was that, as they say. I would ‘borrow’ my mum’s stuff and shopliftknickers and pairs of tights from local shops. I built a smallcollection of knickers and a bra and a couple of dresses I picked upfrom outside the charity shop where someone had left them forcollection. I would get home from school and run to my. I grab one and sniff it. Grain alcohol. Corn most likely. I pass the bowl to Alys and tell her it drink. Not the best for a pregnant girl but I can't have her getting hysterical either. I nod to Howle and he passes out the drinks. The girls drink it down with a large amount of gasping and sputtering.It is a production getting the girls to bed after that. Mother Liss insists that we put them in night gowns. So it is undress them and then redress them. Tuck them in and sit with them for a time, till they fall asleep. When they are asleep, Nev's parents lead us back to the dinning room to talk."Oh my poor girl." Mother Liss sniffles into a handkerchief. "What's we gonna do?" Well for one thing do not coddle her. That did not work." I say and shake my head at the memory of her huddled in a corner of the women's dormitory. "Treat her like she is your daughter." I smile and take Liss' hand in mine. "She is bright and just wants a chance, but as you can see she is still healing. She will.
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